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Think of how stupid the average person is,
by George Carlin

Think of how stupid the average person is,
and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin

Related topics: Cynical Funny

As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero,
he no longer is.
- George Carlin

I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out
where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
- George Carlin

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

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Thank You,
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
- George Carlin

I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
- George Carlin

No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin

 

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
- George Carlin

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
- George Carlin

The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American
recently passed each other in opposite directions.
- George Carlin

I don't like to think of laws
as rules you have to follow,
but more as suggestions.
- George Carlin

I love and treasure individuals as I meet them;
I loathe and despise the groups
they identify with and belong to.
- George Carlin

Honesty may be the best policy,
but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination,
dishonesty is the second-best policy.
- George Carlin

Inside every cynical person,
there is a disappointed idealist.
- George Carlin

If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin

If it requires a uniform, it's a worthless endeavor.
- George Carlin

The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
- George Carlin

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
- George Carlin

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe,
then I'd have to say that the universe
aimed rather low and settled for very little.
- George Carlin

Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
- George Carlin

So far, this is the oldest I've been.
- George Carlin

The reason I talk to myself is because
I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
- George Carlin

I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin

Capitalism tries for a delicate balance:
It attempts to work things out so that
everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from
getting violent and trying to take other people's stuff.
- George Carlin

Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin

What we think, we become.
All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts, we make the world.
- The Buddha

To know yet to think that one does not know is best;
Not to know yet to think that one knows
will lead to difficulty.
- Lao Tzu

Life is as easy or as hard as you think it is.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

No written law has ever been more binding
than unwritten custom supported by popular opinion.
- Carrie Chapman Catt

Life does not consist mainly,
or even largely, of facts or happenings.
It consist mainly of the storm of thoughts
that is forever flowing through one's head.
- Mark Twain

People should think things out fresh
and not just accept conventional terms
and the conventional way of doing things.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

The most pathetic person in the world
is someone who has sight, but has no vision.
- Helen Keller

It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are,
or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy.
It is what you think about.
- Dale Carnegie

If a problem cannot be solved, enlarge it.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Inspire people to do things for themselves.
Inspire people to think for themselves.
- Bono

Few is the number of those
who think with their own mind
and feel with their own heart.
- Albert Einstein

If a million people say a foolish thing,
it is still a foolish thing.
- Anatole France

I hear many people talk about their longing for a balanced life.
What I think they are really expressing
is a desire for a life with less pressure.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

The important thing is not to stop questioning.
Curiosity has its own reason for existing.
- Albert Einstein

Tolerance is the first principle of community;
it is the spirit which conserves
the best that all men think.
- Helen Keller

We should not pretend to understand the world
only by the intellect.
The judgment of the intellect
is only part of the truth.
- Carl Jung

The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie,
deliberate, contrived and dishonest,
but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic.
- John F. Kennedy

To kill an error is as good a service as,
and sometimes even better than,
the establishing of a new truth or fact.
- Charles Darwin

The most important thing about Spaceship Earth -
an instruction book didn't come with it.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

The greatest harm can result from the best intentions.
- Terry Goodkind

The most important things in life
are seldom the most obvious.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I don't know if we each have a destiny,
or if we're all just floatin' around accidental-like on a breeze.
But I, I think maybe it's both.
- the movie Forrest Gump

People hardly ever make use of the freedom which they have,
for example, freedom of thought;
instead they demand freedom of speech as a compensation.
- Soren Kierkegaard

I don't think of all the misery
but of the beauty that still remains.
- Anne Frank

Men and women are not prisoners of fate,
but only prisoners of their own minds.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

The most incomprehensible thing about the world
is that it is comprehensible.
- Albert Einstein

The very nature of the world is constant change.
You set a goal and create a plan to achieve it;
then the assumptions on which you
based your plan change - they always do.
The challenge is to retain your goals
while adapting your tactics.
Relax and stay flexible in order to reach
your goals and maintain your happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Most of us are prisoners of habit,
and don't even notice that we do the same things,
think the same things, want the same things each day -
mostly without conscious thought.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When you keep getting the wrong answers,
try asking better questions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If I feel depressed I will sing.
If I feel sad I will laugh.
If I feel ill I will double my labor.
If I feel fear I will plunge ahead.
If I feel inferior I will wear new garments.
If I feel uncertain I will raise my voice.
If I feel poverty I will think of wealth to come.
If I feel incompetent I will think of past success.
If I feel insignificant I will remember my goals.
Today I will be the master of my emotions.
- Og Mandino

The simplest questions are the most profound.
Where were you born?
Where is your home?
Where are you going?
What are you doing?
Think about these once in a while
and watch your answers change.
- Richard Bach

The eyes are not responsible when the mind does the seeing.
- Publilius Syrus

Everything we say, do, think, and feel
is a product of our personal history
and the collective history of humankind.
Our name for these histories is "prejudice."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The most erroneous stories are those
we think we know best -
and therefore never scrutinize or question.
- Stephen Jay Gould

Neither a man nor a crowd nor a nation
can be trusted to act humanely
or to think sanely under the influence of a great fear.
- Bertrand Russell

The WORK
1.Is it true?
2.Can you absolutely know that it's true?
3.How do you react when you think that thought?
4.Who would you be without the thought?
- Byron Katie

The problem with making assumptions
is that we believe they are the truth
- don Miguel Ruiz

What you think of me is none of my business.
- Terry Cole-Whittaker

Not everyone is always going to like what you do.
Your job application, your book proposal,
your offer of marriage is going to
get rejected sometimes - perhaps often.
Your boss, your spouse, even the person
behind you in the supermarket checkout line
is occasionally going to think that you are doing it all wrong.
Don't take it personally.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

What we think, we become.
- The Buddha

Small is the number of people who
see with their eyes
and think with their minds.
- Albert Einstein

You know that place between sleeping and awake,
that place where you can still remember dreaming?
That's where I'll always think of you.
- James M. Barrie

WHY do you care what THEY think?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you think you're free, there's no escape possible.
- Ram Dass


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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