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One minute you're in the lunchroom at Glenwood High
and you ... blink and you're 40,
you blink again and you can see movies
at half price on a senior citizen's pass.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, or to put it more accurately,
ask not for whom the toilet flushes.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity
The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have,
instead of what you don't have.
- Woody Allen
Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
- Woody Allen
Tradition is the illusion of permanence.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
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Thank You,
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Eighty percent of success is showing up.
- Woody Allen
All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists?
In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
- Woody Allen
I have a very pessimistic view of life.
You should know this about me if we're gonna go out.
You know, I - I feel that life is -
is divided up into the horrible and the miserable.
Those are the two categories, you know.
The - the horrible would be like, um,
I don't know, terminal cases, you know,
and blind people, crippled. I don't know how they get through life.
It's amazing to me. You know, and the miserable is everyone else.
That's - that's - so - so - when you go through life -
you should be thankful that you're miserable
because you're very lucky to be miserable.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
I'm awash in self-contempt!
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity
I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage
is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories
The food at this place is really terrible ...
and such small portions.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
There's nothing wrong with being afraid.
We were meant to be afraid.
- the Woody Allen movie Anything Else
I was thrown out of N.Y.U. my freshman year
for cheating on my metaphysics final ...
I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
I've become the person I've always hated, but I'm happier.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
I don't believe in the after life,
although I am bringing a change of underwear.
- Woody Allen
You have to learn to push the guilt
under the rug and move on,
otherwise it overwhelms you.
- the Woody Allen movie Match Point
I have a very low threshold of death.
My doctor says I can't have bullets enter my body at any time.
- the Woody Allen movie Casino Royale
You want to do mankind a real service?
Tell funnier jokes.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories (1980)
I'm going to go in the bathroom and scream.
I'll be out in a minute.
- the Woody Allen movie What's New Pussycat
You have no values. With you its all nihilism,
cynicism, sarcasm, and orgasm.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Money is better than poverty,
if only for financial reasons.
- Woody Allen
The lion and the calf shall lie down together,
but the calf won't get much sleep.
- Woody Allen
Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
- Woody Allen
Everyone is a prisoner of his own experiences.
No one can eliminate prejudices -
just recognize them.
- Edward R. Murrow
I believe that everything happens for a reason.
People change so that you can learn to let go,
things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right,
you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,
and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
- Marilyn Monroe
The essence of all religions is one.
Only their approaches are different.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
To know yet to think that one does not know is best;
Not to know yet to think that one knows
will lead to difficulty.
- Lao Tzu
Don't let one cloud obliterate the whole sky.
- Anais Nin
The greatest mistake you can make in life
is to be continually fearing you will make one.
- Elbert Hubbard
One can never consent to creep when one feels the impulse to soar.
- Helen Keller
Majority rule only works if you're also
considering individual rights,
because you can't have five wolves and one sheep
voting on what to have for dinner.
- Larry Flynt
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal
with the intent of throwing it at someone else;
you are the one who gets burned.
- The Buddha
Love one another but make not a bond of love.
Let it rather be a moving sea
between the shores of your souls.
- Khalil Gibran
Individually, we are one drop.
Together, we are an ocean.
- Ryunosuke Satoro
One does not discover new lands without consenting
to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
- Andre Gide
No one was ever named "Hero" for following the crowd.
Heroes set their own course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I am one with the Earth,
with the Water, with the Fire,
with the Air that I breathe,
with all Living Things,
and we are all one with Spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned,
so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come.
- Joseph Campbell
Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.
- Anais Nin
Try a new perspective on diversity.
Across the country and around the world,
we are all one.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
"Just living is not enough," said the butterfly,
"one must have sunshine, freedom and a little flower."
- Hans Christian Andersen
If you wait for opportunities to occur,
you will be one of the crowd.
- Edward de Bono
When written in Chinese, the word "crisis"
is composed of two characters.
One represents danger and the other represents opportunity.
- John F. Kennedy
Fear defeats more people than
any other one thing in the world.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Drop the sword - for there is but one flesh to wound,
and it is the one flesh of all humankind.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life does not consist mainly,
or even largely, of facts or happenings.
It consist mainly of the storm of thoughts
that is forever flowing through one's head.
- Mark Twain
Understanding does not cure evil,
but it is a definite help,
inasmuch as one can cope
with a comprehensible darkness.
- Carl Jung
There are only two ways to live your life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle.
- Albert Einstein
One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men.
No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man.
- Elbert Hubbard
Each one prays to God according to his own light.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Having a personal opinion is great.
Believing that one's personal opinion is absolute truth
leads to most of the world's troubles.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Satisfaction of one's curiosity
is one of the greatest sources of happiness in life.
- Linus Pauling
To be one, to be united is a great thing.
But to respect the right to be different is maybe even greater.
- Bono
No one is in control of your happiness but you;
therefore, you have the power to change anything
about yourself or your life that you want to change.
- Barbara De Angelis
Doing an injury puts you below your enemy;
revenging one make you but even with him;
forgiving it sets you above him.
- Benjamin Franklin [attributed]
The art of acceptance is the art of making someone
who has just done you a small favor
wish that he might have done you a greater one.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Friendship is born at that moment
when one person says to another,
"What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
- C. S. Lewis
It is easy enough to be pleasant
When life flows by like a song,
But the man worth while is the one who will smile
When everything goes dead wrong.
- Ella Wheeler Wilcox
No one is free who is not master of himself.
- Epictetus
My heart bleeds at the death of every one of our gallant men.
- Robert E. Lee
If you were a warrior,
you would know that the worst thing
one can do is confront human beings directly.
- Carlos Castaneda
Take your life in your own hands, and what happens?
A terrible thing: no one to blame.
- Erica Jong
The simplification of life is one of the steps to inner peace.
A persistent simplification will create an inner and outer well-being
that places harmony in one's life.
- Peace Pilgrim
The shoe that fits one person pinches another;
there is no recipe for living that suits all cases.
- Carl Jung
Everyone thinks of changing the world,
but no one thinks of changing himself.
- Leo Tolstoy
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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