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If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin
Related topics: Cynical
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out
where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
- George Carlin
As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero,
he no longer is.
- George Carlin
One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin
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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
- George Carlin
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
- George Carlin
No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
- George Carlin
I love and treasure individuals as I meet them;
I loathe and despise the groups
they identify with and belong to.
- George Carlin
Inside every cynical person,
there is a disappointed idealist.
- George Carlin
If it's true that our species is alone in the universe,
then I'd have to say that the universe
aimed rather low and settled for very little.
- George Carlin
Think of how stupid the average person is,
and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin
I don't like to think of laws
as rules you have to follow,
but more as suggestions.
- George Carlin
The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American
recently passed each other in opposite directions.
- George Carlin
So far, this is the oldest I've been.
- George Carlin
Honesty may be the best policy,
but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination,
dishonesty is the second-best policy.
- George Carlin
Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
- George Carlin
If it requires a uniform, it's a worthless endeavor.
- George Carlin
The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
- George Carlin
The reason I talk to myself is because
I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
- George Carlin
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
- George Carlin
Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
- George Carlin
I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin
Capitalism tries for a delicate balance:
It attempts to work things out so that
everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from
getting violent and trying to take other people's stuff.
- George Carlin
Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin
Talent is God-given; be humble.
Fame is man-given; be thankful.
Conceit is self-given; be careful.
- John Wooden
Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller
Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person.
Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
- Oscar Wilde
Every child comes with the message
that God is not yet discouraged of man.
- Rabindranath Tagore
No man stands so tall as when he stoops to help a child.
- Anonymous (often attributed to Abraham Lincoln)
It is easy enough to be pleasant
When life flows by like a song,
But the man worth while is the one who will smile
When everything goes dead wrong.
- Ella Wheeler Wilcox
Once made equal to man, woman becomes his superior.
- Socrates
A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.
- Mark Twain
Man should forget his anger before he lies down to sleep.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Infinite striving to be the best is man's duty;
it is its own reward.
Everything else is in God's hands.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
A man too busy to take care of his health is like
a mechanic too busy to take care of his tools.
- Spanish Proverb
Interdependence is and ought to be
as much the ideal of man as self-sufficiency.
Man is a social being.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Habit is habit,
and not to be flung out of the window by any man,
but coaxed down-stairs a step at a time.
- Mark Twain
Life consists in what a man is thinking of all day.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The man who can't dance thinks the band is no good.
- Polish Proverb
A man must be both stupid and uncharitable
who believes there is no virtue or truth but on his own side.
- Joseph Addison
If a man is proud of his wealth,
he should not be praised until it is known how he employs it.
- Socrates
Circumstance does not make the man: it reveals him to himself.
- James Allen
A dog is not considered a good dog because he is a good barker.
A man is not considered a good man because he is a good talker.
- The Buddha
The man with insight enough to admit his limitations
comes nearest to perfection.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Neither a man nor a crowd nor a nation
can be trusted to act humanely
or to think sanely under the influence of a great fear.
- Bertrand Russell
I don't like that man.
I must get to know him better.
- Abraham Lincoln
The man of genius inspires us with
a boundless confidence in our own powers.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The greatest virtue of man is perhaps curiosity.
- Anatole France
Man's mind, once stretched by a new idea,
never regains its original dimensions.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
Of course I am afraid. What sane man is not?
- Luciano Pavarotti
Each man's life touches so many other lives.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)
We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men
who walked through the huts comforting others,
giving away their last piece of bread...
They offer sufficient proof that everything
can be taken from a man but one thing:
to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances,
to choose one's own way.
- Viktor E. Frankl
Freedom is never dear at any price.
It is the breath of life.
What would a man not pay for living?
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
A man who doesn't trust himself
can never really trust anyone else.
- Cardinal De Retz
A man who dares to waste one hour of time
has not discovered the value of life.
- Charles Darwin
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin
Every man has his own courage,
and is betrayed because he seeks in himself
the courage of other persons.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
He is a man of courage who does not run away,
but remains at his post and fights against the enemy.
- Socrates
All religions must be tolerated...
for every man must get to heaven in his own way.
- Epictetus
Our problems are man-made, therefore they may be solved by man.
And man can be as big as he wants.
No problem of human destiny is beyond human beings.
- John F. Kennedy
Each man is afraid of his neighbor's disapproval -
a thing which, to the general run of the human race,
is more dreaded than wolves and death.
- Mark Twain
Nearly all men can stand adversity,
but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
- Abraham Lincoln
Revenge... is like a rolling stone,
which, when a man hath forced up a hill,
will return upon him with a greater violence,
and break those bones whose sinews gave it motion.
- Albert Schweitzer
Man needs difficulties; they are necessary for health.
- Carl Jung
What is happiness except the simple harmony
between a man and the life he leads?
- Albert Camus
The man who is dissatisfied with himself, what can he do?
- Henry David Thoreau
No matter how dull, or how mean, or how wise a man is,
he feels that happiness is his indisputable right.
- Helen Keller
Experience is not what happens to a man.
It is what a man does with what happens to him.
- Aldous Huxley
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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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