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My boyfriend and I broke up.
He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
- Rita Rudner
Related topics: Funny Romantic Love
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner 
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner
When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner
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Thank You,
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner
I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner
I think men who have a pierced ear
are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner
A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck
Save a boyfriend for a rainy day -
and another, in case it doesn't rain.
- Mae West
Time to Die:
A Zen teacher had a rare and priceless teacup.
One day, his precocious student accidentally broke the cup.
Hearing the footsteps of his teacher,
the student held the pieces of the cup behind his back.
When the master appeared, he asked: "Why do people have to die?"
"This is natural," explained the teacher.
"Everything has to die and has just so long to live."
The student showed the shattered cup, saying,
"It was time for your cup to die."
- Traditional Zen Koan
Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
- H. L. Mencken
As the evening beckons with the promise of tomorrow...
may your gratitude rise up and with strength answer, "yes."
- Mary Anne Radmacher
The way I see it, if you want the rainbow,
you gotta put up with the rain.
- Dolly Parton
"Hurry up" ranks right up there with "you need to"
as a destroyer of our humanity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It is the friends you can call up at 4 A.M. that matter.
- Marlene Dietrich
The trick is growing up without growing old.
- Casey Stengel
You have enemies? Good.
That means you've stood up for something,
sometime in your life.
- Winston Churchill
Unexpected events can set you back or set you up.
It's all a matter of - perspective.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Revenge... is like a rolling stone,
which, when a man hath forced up a hill,
will return upon him with a greater violence,
and break those bones whose sinews gave it motion.
- Albert Schweitzer
To give up yourself without regret is the greatest charity.
- Bodhidharma
"Sometimes," said Pooh, "the smallest things take up the most room in your heart."
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
None of us got where we are solely by
pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps.
- Thurgood Marshall
Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations.
I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty,
believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.
- Louisa May Alcott
Fall seven times, stand up eight.
- Japanese Proverb
Better learn balance. Balance is key.
Balance good, karate good. Everything good.
Balance bad, better pack up, go home. Understand?
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid
Most truths are so naked
that people feel sorry for them
and cover them up,
at least a little bit.
- Edward R. Murrow
If it's Right, stand up for it - together.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin
Good manners sometimes means simply
putting up with other people's bad manners.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
No amount of self-improvement can make up
for a lack of self-acceptance.
- Anonymous
Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei
Don't be afraid to give up the good to go for the great.
- John D. Rockefeller
Your point of view sets you up well in advance
for how you view the events as they unfold.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Sacrifice everything, and give up nothing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Never Let Anyone Get Your Goat,
Push Your Buttons,
Get You Riled Up,
or Annoy You.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more.
If you concentrate on what you don't have,
you will never, ever have enough.
- Oprah Winfrey
Most folks are about as happy as they make their minds up to be.
- Abraham Lincoln
It's not whether you get knocked down;
it's whether you get back up.
- Vince Lombardi
The only one who can make you give up is yourself.
- Sidney Sheldon
Life is a journey. It is not a race to test
who can finish first or who can end up with the most loot.
Rather, life is best enjoyed as a meander -
watching the view to left and right - above and below -
as the days slowly move past in dress review.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
People are just as happy
as they make up their minds to be.
- Abraham Lincoln
I won't give up 'til goats sing and walruses fly.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If you would lift me up you must be on higher ground.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Letting go doesn't mean giving up...
it means moving on.
- Anonymous
Courage is being scared to death - but saddling up anyway.
- John Wayne
Dream up the world you want to live in. Dream out loud.
- Bono
Circumstances don't defeat you -
you defeat yourself when you give up.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up.
Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.
- Michael Jordan
Whoever undertakes to set himself up
as a judge of Truth and Knowledge
is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods.
- Albert Einstein
Never give up, for that
is just the place and time
that the tide will turn.
- Harriet Beecher Stowe
Lighten up! Slow down the shopping.
Your greatest gift to your family and friends is yourself -
your relaxed, happy, and fully-present self.
Consider gifting hand-made cards with messages
of true appreciation in place of store-bought presents.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The sun WILL come up tomorrow.
- Anonymous
The best way to cheer yourself
is to try to cheer someone else up.
- Mark Twain
We occasionally stumble over the truth
but most of us pick ourselves up and
hurry off as if nothing had happened.
- Winston Churchill
When people get caught up with that which is right
and they are willing to sacrifice for it,
there is no stopping point short of victory.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh?" he whispered.
"Yes, Piglet?"
"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's hand.
"I just wanted to be sure of you."
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Don't give up. There are too many nay-sayers out there
who will try to discourage you.
Don't listen to them.
The only one who can make you give up is yourself.
- Sidney Sheldon
You grow up the day you have
your first real laugh - at yourself.
- Ethel Barrymore
Freedom makes a huge requirement of every human being.
With freedom comes responsibility.
For the person who is unwilling to grow up,
the person who does not want to carry is own weight,
this is a frightening prospect.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
You can conquer almost any fear
if you will only make up your mind to do so.
For remember, fear doesn't exist
anywhere except in the mind.
- Dale Carnegie
They who can give up essential liberty
to obtain a little temporary safety
deserve neither liberty nor safety.
- Benjamin Franklin
The wise man does not lay up his own treasures.
The more he gives to others, the more he has for his own.
- Lao Tzu
Never give up.
- Anonymous
What power there is in our service when our actions
line up with our mission, skills and joy.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
- Dave Barry
Stand up to your obstacles
and do something about them.
You will find that they haven't
half the strength you think they have.
- Norman Vincent Peale
Life should not be a journey to the grave
with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well preserved body,
but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out,
and loudly proclaiming, "Wow! What a Ride!"
- Hunter S. Thompson
Men occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of them pick themselves up
and hurry off as if nothing had happened.
- Winston Churchill
IF it is to be, it is up to me.
- Anonymous
Don't ever give up.
- Anonymous
It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies,
but even more to stand up to your friends.
- J.K. Rowling
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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