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One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
Related topics: Funny Friendship Relationship
As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero,
he no longer is.
- George Carlin
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out
where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
- George Carlin
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
- George Carlin
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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin
One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin
I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
- George Carlin
The reason I talk to myself is because
I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
- George Carlin
If it's true that our species is alone in the universe,
then I'd have to say that the universe
aimed rather low and settled for very little.
- George Carlin
The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
- George Carlin
So far, this is the oldest I've been.
- George Carlin
The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American
recently passed each other in opposite directions.
- George Carlin
I love and treasure individuals as I meet them;
I loathe and despise the groups
they identify with and belong to.
- George Carlin
Honesty may be the best policy,
but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination,
dishonesty is the second-best policy.
- George Carlin
Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
- George Carlin
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
- George Carlin
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
- George Carlin
Inside every cynical person,
there is a disappointed idealist.
- George Carlin
I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin
If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin
Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
- George Carlin
Think of how stupid the average person is,
and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin
I don't like to think of laws
as rules you have to follow,
but more as suggestions.
- George Carlin
If it requires a uniform, it's a worthless endeavor.
- George Carlin
Capitalism tries for a delicate balance:
It attempts to work things out so that
everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from
getting violent and trying to take other people's stuff.
- George Carlin
Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin
To know yet to think that one does not know is best;
Not to know yet to think that one knows
will lead to difficulty.
- Lao Tzu
I believe that everything happens for a reason.
People change so that you can learn to let go,
things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right,
you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,
and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
- Marilyn Monroe
Everyone is a prisoner of his own experiences.
No one can eliminate prejudices -
just recognize them.
- Edward R. Murrow
Don't let one cloud obliterate the whole sky.
- Anais Nin
The greatest mistake you can make in life
is to be continually fearing you will make one.
- Elbert Hubbard
One can never consent to creep when one feels the impulse to soar.
- Helen Keller
The essence of all religions is one.
Only their approaches are different.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
If you wait for opportunities to occur,
you will be one of the crowd.
- Edward de Bono
One does not discover new lands without consenting
to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
- Andre Gide
We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned,
so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come.
- Joseph Campbell
"Just living is not enough," said the butterfly,
"one must have sunshine, freedom and a little flower."
- Hans Christian Andersen
Individually, we are one drop.
Together, we are an ocean.
- Ryunosuke Satoro
Try a new perspective on diversity.
Across the country and around the world,
we are all one.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.
- Anais Nin
When written in Chinese, the word "crisis"
is composed of two characters.
One represents danger and the other represents opportunity.
- John F. Kennedy
Majority rule only works if you're also
considering individual rights,
because you can't have five wolves and one sheep
voting on what to have for dinner.
- Larry Flynt
I am one with the Earth,
with the Water, with the Fire,
with the Air that I breathe,
with all Living Things,
and we are all one with Spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Drop the sword - for there is but one flesh to wound,
and it is the one flesh of all humankind.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Love one another but make not a bond of love.
Let it rather be a moving sea
between the shores of your souls.
- Khalil Gibran
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal
with the intent of throwing it at someone else;
you are the one who gets burned.
- The Buddha
Fear defeats more people than
any other one thing in the world.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
No one was ever named "Hero" for following the crowd.
Heroes set their own course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There is no passion to be found playing small -
in settling for a life that is less
than the one you are capable of living.
- Nelson Mandela
In one drop of water are found all the secrets of all the oceans.
- Khalil Gibran
This day I will marry my friend,
the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love.
- Anonymous
Everyone thinks of changing the world,
but no one thinks of changing himself.
- Leo Tolstoy
Real excellence and humility are
not incompatible one with the other,
on the contrary they are twin sisters.
- Jean Baptiste Lacordaire
Life is like an onion:
you peel it off one layer at a time,
and sometimes you weep.
- Carl Sandburg
In great contests, each party claims to act
in accordance with the will of God.
Both may be, and one must be wrong.
- Abraham Lincoln
Take your life in your own hands, and what happens?
A terrible thing: no one to blame.
- Erica Jong
If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one.
- Mother Teresa
No one is in control of your happiness but you;
therefore, you have the power to change anything
about yourself or your life that you want to change.
- Barbara De Angelis
When one door closes, another opens.
But often we look so long, so regretfully,
upon the closed door,
that we fail to see the one that is opened for us.
- Helen Keller
Understanding does not cure evil,
but it is a definite help,
inasmuch as one can cope
with a comprehensible darkness.
- Carl Jung
My heart bleeds at the death of every one of our gallant men.
- Robert E. Lee
Having a personal opinion is great.
Believing that one's personal opinion is absolute truth
leads to most of the world's troubles.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is a series of experiences,
each one of which makes us bigger,
even though sometimes it is hard to realize this.
- Henry Ford
One of the advantages of being disorganized is that
one is always having surprising discoveries.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Sing like no one's listening,
love like you've never been hurt,
dance like nobody's watching,
and live like its heaven on earth.
- Mark Twain
There is no neutrality.
There is only greater or lesser
awareness of one's bias.
- Phyllis Rose
The greatest weapon against stress
is our ability to choose one thought over another.
- William James
God has given you one face, and you make yourself another.
- William Shakespeare
A man who dares to waste one hour of time
has not discovered the value of life.
- Charles Darwin
There are only two ways to live your life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle.
- Albert Einstein
Truth is absolute, but only to one person.
My truth is absolute to me, and your truth is absolute to you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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