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Joy Program by Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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Marriage is a fine institution -
by Mae West

Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West

Related topics: Funny Marriage

All discarded lovers should be given a second chance,
but with somebody else.
- Mae West

Love isn't an emotion or an instinct - it's an art.
- Mae West

Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.
- Mae West PHOTO

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Thank You,
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Look your best - who said love is blind?
- Mae West

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

 

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

Save a boyfriend for a rainy day -
and another, in case it doesn't rain.
- Mae West

Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

Love thy neighbor -
and if he happens to be tall,
debonair and devastating,
it will be that much easier.
- Mae West

A woman in love can't be reasonable -
or she probably wouldn't be in love.
- Mae West

Every good relationship, especially marriage, is based on respect.
If it's not based on respect,
nothing that appears to be good will last very long.
- Amy Grant

This day I will marry my friend,
the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love.
- Anonymous

A divorce is like an amputation:
you survive it, but there's less of you.
- Margaret Atwood

The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple:
you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities
but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.
- Quentin Crisp

Make sure you never, never argue at night.
You just lose a good night's sleep,
and you can't settle anything until morning anyway.
- Rose Kennedy

For a happy marriage,
love and accept your spouse just the way they are.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When you make the sacrifice in marriage,
you're sacrificing not to each other
but to unity in a relationship.
- Joseph Campbell

Our loved ones -
whether by blood, by marriage, or by choice -
are delicate treasures.
If we hold them too close, they break -
as a butterfly would.
By honoring and enjoying
the freedom of our loved ones,
we gain our own freedom.
Have the courage to trust that
the beautiful butterflies of your life
will return - or not - as life intends.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Marriage, ultimately, is the practice of
becoming passionate friends.
- Harville Hendrix

Don't marry the person you think you can live with;
marry only the individual you think you can't live without.
- James C. Dobson

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

A dream you dream alone is only a dream.
A dream you dream together becomes reality.
- John Lennon

I used to tell my husband that,
if he could make me "understand" something,
it would be clear to all the other people in the country.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

By all means marry.
If you get a good wife, you'll be happy.
If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher
and that is a good thing for any man.
- Socrates

Each relationship nurtures a strength or weakness within you.
- Mike Murdock

Gift the love of your life with undistracted,
untelevisioned, unhurried attentiveness.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck.
If you live through it, you start looking
very carefully to the right and to the left.
- Jean Kerr

True love means putting the other person before yourself,
and honoring the relationship above all.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The one who loves the least, controls the relationship.
- Robert Anthony

There is no substitute for the comfort supplied
by the utterly taken-for-granted relationship.
- Iris Murdoch

You are my home - the place to which I always return.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

The fewer secrets you have, the happier you will be.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Every relationship is just so tenuous and precarious.
- Larry David

You can learn how to let go of the past.
Whether you have experienced a break up
with someone you cared for deeply,
whether death has taken a loved one,
whether you have had a feud with a friend or family member,
whether you have lost a job.
Move on and let go.
Life can be joyful and rewarding again.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The hardest of all, is learning to be
a well of affection, and not a fountain,
to show them that we love them,
not when we feel like it, but when they do.
- Nan Fairbrother

Not everyone is always going to like what you do.
Your job application, your book proposal,
your offer of marriage is going to
get rejected sometimes - perhaps often.
Your boss, your spouse, even the person
behind you in the supermarket checkout line
is occasionally going to think that you are doing it all wrong.
Don't take it personally.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

My Loved One
You are my ground and you are my rainbow.
You are my butterfly and you are my ecstasy.
You are the start of my journeys and always my destination.
You are my home - the place to which I always return.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you have been divorced, you know it hurts -
especially if your marriage had lasted many years.
Whatever the circumstances of your relationship,
and whatever the nature of its ending,
there is always grief and regret -
perhaps regret over the ending,
or perhaps regret over not ending the relationship sooner -
or perhaps both.
Nonetheless, move past the grief and regret.
No matter how painful, divorce, like all endings,
opens the door to new beginnings.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
- Henny Youngman

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

The four most important words in any marriage...
"I'll do the dishes."
- Anonymous

Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck

A Great Relationship is the Dance of Two Great Lives.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.
- Anonymous

When people get married because they think
it's a long-time love affair,
they'll be divorced very soon,
because all love affairs end in disappointment.
But marriage is a recognition of a spiritual identity.
- Joseph Campbell

Consider being more acceptive of your partner's behaviors.
It is unlikely that they are intentionally aggravating you.
Almost always, they are just doing what they think they should do.
Try setting aside your own rules for how they should behave,
and adopt a live-and-let-live attitude.
Your relationship will become stronger and happier if you do.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Marriage is a wonderful institution,
but who would want to live in an institution?
- H. L. Mencken

The greatest roadblock to a great relationship
is trying to force a partner to change through bribes or threats.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does.
Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up.
- James A. Baldwin

My husband melted my heart the day he asked me,
"Can I participate in your wonder?"
In whose wonder do you get to participate today?
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Love allows your beloved the freedom to be unlike you.
Attachment asks for conformity to your needs and desires.
Love imposes no demands.
Attachment expresses an overwhelming demand - "Make me feel whole."
Love expands beyond the limits of two people.
Attachment tries to exclude everything but two people.
- Deepak Chopra in The Path to Love

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
- Phyllis Diller

I was married by a judge.
I should have asked for a jury.
- Groucho Marx

I think men who have a pierced ear
are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner

As to marriage or celibacy, let a man
take which course he will,
he will be sure to repent.
- Socrates

There should be an honest attempt at the reconciliation
of differences before resorting to combat.
- Jimmy Carter

In a bad marriage, friends are the invisible glue.
If we have enough friends, we may go on for years,
intending to leave, talking about leaving -
instead of actually getting up and leaving.
- Erica Jong

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times,
always with the same person.
- Germaine Greer

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Love your spouse as they are,
and forgive them everything.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill

He early on let her know who is the boss.
He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're the boss."
- Anonymous humor

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

Husbands should be like Kleenex:
soft, strong, and disposable.
- the movie Clue (1985)

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Do real life people actually fall in love
with the idea of being in love?
Unfortunately, it is actually quite common.
Someone wants desperately to have
the husband or wife of their dreams.
They visualize the vine-covered cottage
with the white picket fence.
They choose the colors for the nursery.
They design all the aspects of their married life.
A real person stands no chance of measuring up to those fantasies.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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